4/20/11 298lbs

Usually I have my little gain every four weeks. Its only been three. I did have a crazy week last week. I ate out almost every meal, and while I made good choices it was still eating out. Didn't drink nearly enough water either. Also didn't walk at all, well unless you count the countless treks in and out of Wake Forest Baptist Health Center. I already had a busy week planned, and then the education department added about 100 new CPR classes.

If I'm not eating because I'm stressed I'm eating because "I deserve it." I don't have time to reward myself with anything else, like a facial or a massage, so I eat.

This feels like the hardest thing I've ever done. I have to tell myself not to do something, not to go to McDonalds, not to go to Krispy Kreme, etc. I have to listen to myself. I have to discipline myself. It's miserable. Its funny because I look at last week's blog and think, "Who wrote that?" "Who is that optimistic person?" Because right now I've gone back to my old habits of, "Who gives a crap." And, "I'll work it off later."

It'll be interesting to go back later and look at my different blogs, the bright peppy ones where I'm sure I can stick to this forever and the dark negative ones where I'm sure I'll be fat forever.